Thursday, March 09, 2006

Songun Purim Linkim

This week, we have a special edition of Linkim hosted by my good friend and frequent contributor, none other than the Glorious and Revered Leader, Song Jun Il, I mean Jung Il-Sun, or...wait, no, that's right, Kim Jong-Il.

Kim, or Mr. Il if you will, take it away:

Purim Dov Bear heroically exposes the Criminal Americans ongoing attrocities in the field of racism, including suppression of the Imperialist war-monger Rice as well as stars of pigskin.

SerandEz strongly attempts to rebut the DovBear, implying -- as the racists are wonton to do -- people who live in glass houses shouldn't call the kettle black.

Olehgurl has taken most revolutionary steps and is in the army now. Très juche! We send Olehg finest Socialist wishes.

NotMirty wants to prove she's a Texan by sharing with us her glorious and revered tastes in cowboy boots: she likes them red (like her men). Hmmm. Now I want red boots too. I will have to assign a few heroic villages to activate their unshakable Korean will and have them create a pair for me that is more magnificent than Mirty's. One of the villages should succeed, and the others can be replaced.

Shifra shows you her fridge because she most generously wishes not to shed your blood by her own hand. But Shifra should know, while it is bot very juche AND songun to do your own brutal massacreing, as I point out in my magnet opium "Kim Jong Il's Biography," discretion is the better part of assassination. Call me.

Orthomom uncovers some exceedingly wonderful and educational anti-semitism in the schools, where the Zionists and imperialists must be stopped first.

RenRebPurim has sobering news: someone died

Not Necessarily the Godol Hador has a theoretically complex Groverian meditation on the nature of the so-called God and comes to the inevitable juche conclusion that DovBear sucks.

CORPSE: "Tall Posts and Knotted Ropes for Peaceful Use"

From Persian news website, Capital of Oriental Republic of Persia, Sushan Enterprise:

In the face of mounting international criticism, Persian chief minister Haman claims his ambitious recent installation of tall posts and ropes is for purely peaceful purposes and that he is merely doing what other countries do in the course of developing large scale laundry drying industries. Wooden posts must be erected with lines between them in order to dry laundry. At taller post heights, they can be used for hanging Jews as well. This so-called "dual-use technology" has long been the bane of international inspections regimes.

UN investigators have so far failed to uncover any evidence Haman's posts are to be
used for prohibited activities, noting that the decree calling for the slaughter of all Jews in Persia could be just a metaphorical way of speaking out against the Jews obstinate refusal to bow down, and didn't unambiguously mean they were specifically to be hanged. Haman has prevented further inspections and is carrying on with the construction at a furious pace. Investigators have called for patience on all sides and have asked for more time to negotiate for Persian guarantees of either a height limit on posts, or to mandate the use of Russian noose-makers. The chief inspector, speaking over the pounding of hammers, said "Give diplomacy a chance."
Haman calling for diplomacy -- now that's noose!

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